Bleeding Heart
by theladynimue
Summary: Chaos hits the Hogwarts Express and James Potter struggles to cope in the aftermath. Muggleborns are missing, and Lily is one of them. MGverse, shows the events of MG21 (re: spoilers) from James's POV. Rated M for language and references to violence (possible trigger warning), One Shot


_Author's Note_ _: SPOILER ALERT! If you have not read chapter 21 of_ A Magical Garden _, then you may not want to read this yet. It happens at the same time as a majority of the action of that chapter. It ends as chapter 22 begins._

 _Ye have been warned. Rated M for language. Juju, dear sis, there is a moment you may not be too keen on, either._

 _JKR is my overlord._

* * *

 **A Magical Garden: Bleeding Heart**

To say the atmosphere on the Hogwarts Express was chaotic would have been an understatement, at least from James Potter's perspective. They had been set upon by Death Eaters, his Muggleborn girlfriend had gone off _on her own_ to investigate (James still was not happy about that), and he was trying to be a calm and responsible Head Boy, despite wanting to chase after his girlfriend. He should be the one crawling to the back of the train. She should have stayed behind to comfort their younger friends. She was good at that.

He did not have a clue what he was doing. He felt frazzled. Part of his mind was thinking of his girlfriend, Lily Evans, and if she was okay, while another part was focussed on Mary MacDonald, a pretty Muggleborn sixth year who was certainly a target for this particular plot and his responsibility at that moment. The Death Eater had said. _Just hand over the mudbloods, and no harm will become of you._

He turned his head to check on Mary, who was huddled against the wall, crying. Alice Perks, another sixth year, was clinging to her boyfriend, who happened to be James's roommate, Frank Longbottom. Just beyond them, approaching on all fours, he saw another familiar face with dark hair and slightly upturned brown eyes.

"Dorcas!" he whispered as loudly as he could to one of his beaters on the Gryffindor Quidditch Team. James was not really sure why he was whispering, but his instincts were in control, and his instincts forced him to be quiet.

Dorcas Meadowes crawled to his side, wincing as a particularly large piece of glass, evidence of the shattered windows, caught in her palm. After using her teeth to pull it free, she hissed, "What the _hell_ , James? Are those bastards going to attack the train or not?"

" _How_ would I know that, Meadowes?"

Dorcas gave him a sly smile, her humor shining through, despite the situation. "Touché, _Capitan_ Head Boy."

"It's actually good that you came by. I need you to do me a favor." When Dorcas raised an eyebrow, saying nothing, he knew he had her attention. "I have to stay with Mary. Lily went farther down the train and I _need_ you to check on her."

"Why don't _you_ do it and _I_ will watch Little MacDonald?"

James sighed impatiently. "Because I already _tried_ to stop her, and if I go after her, she will call me arrogant, hex my ears off, and make them dance around my head. She has said nothing to you. You're safe."

He could tell by her expression that she would do it. Not because he asked her to, but because she cared for Lily as deeply as the rest of them. Without a word, she crept down the corridor after Lily. James took a moment to sneak back into the compartment he was riding in when the Death Eaters first made their appearance. Holding his wand at the ready, he leaned out the opening where the door once was to search the inky blackness beyond. He could not see a thing, but he did not get cursed either, so he assumed that there were no Death Eaters in the vicinity. While he was not in as much danger from the Death Eaters as his Muggleborn friends, his family were known blood traitors, so he may as well have had a target on his back, as well.

Coming back to his friends, they sat silent and on their guard, no one daring to relax until they saw one of the professors or an Auror. You could cut the tension in the air with a knife. In the back of his mind, he hoped that Dorcas had found Lily and was staying out of trouble.

Suddenly, the train was filled with a blinding light. Intuition screaming that it was a decoy, he leapt to where he remembered Mary was sitting and grabbed her around the legs. At first, he thought she was fighting him, but quickly realized that someone else was pulling her away from the group. He shouted her name, yet it was as though he was shouting into the wind. He could not even hear himself. She slipped a little farther from his grasp and something hard rubbed against him arm. Mary had her wand tucked into her knee socks. Knowing he was losing the battle to keep her on the train, he did the only thing he could think of for her: he pulled it free. If the Death Eaters found it, they would definitely snap it. This way, she would have this when they got her back to them.

As soon as he had her wand, he lost the battle and she slipped through his arms. He cursed loudly, knowing he would have never been able to hold her. After another moment, the light was gone, and it was as though a silencing spell had been lifted throughout the train. Everywhere, there was someone screaming. Alice was hysterical, screaming for Mary as Frank desperately tried to calm her. Resisting the urge to cover his ears with his hands, James got to his feet and started shouting for silence. After a minute, and a quick _Sonorus_ , he got the attention from those in the same car as him.

"All right. Panicking is not going to make things better, or any easier." Using Mary's wand, which was at hand, he conjured a sheet of parchment and a self-inking quill. "Since it looks as though more than Mary was taken, I will make a list to give to the Aurors when they get here. I'll start at the front of the train and work backwards." At that moment, Remus Lupin entered the car, a fresh cut over his eye that he was pressing a handkerchief against to staunch the flow of blood. "Moony," James gratefully addressed his friend, "I need help collecting names of the missing and keeping people calm." Remus nodded and, together, they made their way to the engine.

On the way back, they stopped everywhere and composed a list of names that did not seem to stop. There was the seventh year Hufflepuff prefect, Sarah Harrington, the fifth year Beater from Ravenclaw's Quidditch team, Jerry Billingsley. Secretly, James almost pitied the Death Eater who got Jerry. There as a reason he was a stellar Beater.

They were about three quarters down the train when he looked at the list. There were four columns, one for each house, and the Slytherin column was empty. He held up the list for Remus to read. "Including Mary, there are eight Gryffindors missing, four Ravenclaws, and five Hufflepuffs. No Slytherin, and all Muggleborn. And we still have to finish the train."

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose, passing the list back to James. "That is hardly surprising. I don't even think Slytherin _has_ any Muggleborns right now. If they did, they aren't at school now."

Together, they moved on to the next cars, collecting a name here and there from the despondent students. By the time they finished the last car, they had added three Ravenclaws and a Hufflepuff to the list. James counted the names once more. "That's twenty-one total, allowing we did not miss anyone. Let's get back to Frank. I am sure that is where the others would be." He hoped that Lily was one of their number. He was growing uneasy with how he had not seen that familiar red hair as he checked the corridors for the missing.

He was right. When they reached where they had left Frank consoling Alice, the couple had been joined by Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, Marlene McKinnon, Emmeline Vance, and Dorcas. James froze in his tracks when he saw Dorcas, his hazel eyes widening to a manic degree. Not only was she more emotional than he had ever seen her (and he had known her since before they received their Hogwarts letters, she was the most put-together witch he knew), a crying Emma and Marlene were huddled around her, steadying their friend. Sobs wracked through the dark-haired girl, echoing in the near silence, and the others all looked grim. Even Alice stopped screaming, but tears flowed steadily down her face.

"Dorcas," said James slowly, unsteadily, dreading the answer his question will bring, but already knowing what she will say, "where is Lily?"

Dorcas looked up, her eyeliner and mascara running down her cheeks. She held up a wand that he instantly recognized as Lily's.

"She's gone." Her voice broke, she sounded as though she was close to cracking completely. "I couldn't see. Everything was so…so bright. She shoved this," she held the wand up again, "behind me so they couldn't get it. I'm so sorry, James." She started sobbing again. "I'm so sorry. I tried to grab her, but I couldn't see. They got her."

And James said nothing. He did not notice when he fell to his knees. He did not see Dorcas break away from the girls and cling to him tightly about his neck, crying hard into his shoulder. He could only feel, so he clung to Dorcas and let the tears fall as she kept repeating her earlier words.

"I'm sorry, James, I'm _so_ sorry…"

* * *

"What do you _mean_ you aren't _doing anything_?" James shouted in the Headmaster's office later that evening. Not too long after James learned that Lily was kidnapped with the others, the professors arrived with Hagrid to collect the students. They had stopped partially in the station at Hogsmeade. The strangest thing was that no one in the town saw anything. The only reason the Aurors believed them about the light at all was that every one of them reported it. Throughout the questioning, the stories all lined up. Even the Slytherins, who lost none in the attack, could not dispute the story.

Sirius stepped forward. He and Dorcas had come with James to Professor Dumbledore's office while the others tried to help in the Great Hall with organizing the questioning and keeping the general calm. Or, rather, as calm as things could be under the circumstances. "Professor, I can't say I understand. We easily have a baker's dozen Aurors downstairs questioning every student at near midnight, but no one is planning any sort of rescue strategy?"

"Mister Potter, Mister Black, I do understand your concerns," replied Dumbledore in a calm voice, his pale blue eyes not twinkling nearly as much as they usually did behind his half-moon spectacles. He looked weary, wearier than James had ever seen him. "I, quite frankly, share them with you. It is just, at the present time, the Aurors wish to get as much of the details as possible before planning the next phase."

James fell into one of the cushy armchairs conjured up for their use and braced his elbows on his knees before running both hands through his hair, fisting his hands and pulling at the strands. He hated feeling this idle, this helpless. Sirius was pacing, and Dorcas was nearly catatonic in the chair beside James. Her brown eyes were wide and unseeing, and her lips were chapped. Every pore spoke of her misery and guilt. James knew how she felt, he had felt Mary slip through his own fingers. He could barely look Alice in the eye since they returned.

"What are they expecting to learn, exactly?" snapped Sirius. "The train stops, the lights go out and the doors fly open. Cue Death Eaters. They demand we hand over the Muggleborns, we tell them where they can put the suggestion. They vanish and the windows shatter. Then, there was a blinding light and when it goes away, twenty-two Muggleborn students are missing. End scene."

James could not help but smile from behind his hands. Trust Sirius to be facetious at a time like this. While he could not see the speech, he knew his best friend was waving his hands, adding as much sarcastic flare he could.

"From what I have learned, that covers all of what happened, Mr. Black. However, the Aurors disagree. They feel as though there is a detail hidden beneath what happened that could clue them in to a plan. As of right now, we are forced to wait. To run into things without proper planning could be disastrous for both the rescuers as well as to our young friends."

James looked up from his hands, his glasses dangling in the hook of one finger. Even though his vision was downright pathetic without his glasses, his gaze was intense on the headmaster. "Does anyone have anything vaguely resembling a plan, Professor?"

"Unfortunately, that is nothing I am at liberty to discuss, Mister Potter." If Professor Dumbledore heard the hostility apparent in James's voice, he did not comment.

The three students were silent. Sirius was brooding, James was thoughtful, and Dorcas just continued to stare.

After a moment, her eyes focused and she met Dumbledore's blue eyes with her own brown. Her voice sounded small, broken. "Just get them back, Professor. Please, get Lily and the others back."

Dumbledore smiled, and James saw the familiar twinkle go back into his eye. "Miss Meadowes, I plan to do nothing less."

* * *

That night, James suspected that few people in Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Gryffindor Houses slept. He was sure that the Slytherins were likely having a party before turning in to sleep soundly. James punched his pillow again.

"Pretend it's Snape's face," said Dorcas bitterly from her place on the floor beside Peter's bed. She was wrapped in the duvet from her own bed, a pillow on the floor next to her. Dorcas and the other girls were camped out in the seventh year boys' dormitory. Alice was uncharacteristically silent curled up in Frank's bed (James suspected that she finally succumbed to her grief and passed out). Marlene was resting her head on Emma's lap while Emma idly played with her hair.

James fluffed his pillow and propped it up against the foot of his bed. He punched it again, fluffed it again, and continued the cycle. "I'm pretending it's Snape, then Rosier, the Mulciber, Avery, and every other smug wannabe Death Eater in the school. It's not making me feel better, but I can pretend that, too. As far as I am concerned, they are just as responsible for this as the fucking bastards that took them."

"Well, if you light it on fire, pretend it's Regulus for me," murmured Sirius from his place on his own bed, leant against the post at the foot. His back was to the group, but it was more to hide the anguish (and possible tears, if James was correct) on his face more than to shut out the others.

James hit the pillow, which finally gave in to the abuse and exploded in a cloud of feathers that flew all over. The little downey white feathers mostly covered James, Dorcas, Peter, and Remus, sticking in their hair and on their clothes. The four of them shared identical wide-eyed stunned expressions. James was frozen, his fists hovering above the now empty pillow casing.

From across the room, Sirius snorted blowing at a stray feather in the air. When he spoke, he pointed in the air for emphasis. "Now, _that_ one was Snape."

Despite their heavy hearts, the group laughed. While he felt guilty for laughing when Lily and the others were Merlin knows where, it felt good for some of the tension in the air to lift a little.

When things died down, Marlene voiced the one thing they were all thinking, "So, do you think the Aurors are actually doing something, or are they biding their time?"

"Definitely biding their time until they get a decent lead," Dorcas grumbled, still plucking feathers from her long hair.

"Why don't _we_ do something?" suggested Peter.

"Because that would be careless, Pete." Remus noted matter-of-factly while he used his wand to vanish any feathers from his bed.

"Well, since we are teenagers, they expect us to be careless. Why should we let them down?"

"Ol' Wormy's got a point, mate," said Sirius, finally turning after quickly brushing his hands across his face. James would have smirked if it was under different circumstances.

Marlene sat up from her place on the floor. "Yeah, why don't we do something?"

Emma looked at her friend, disbelief apparent in her face. "That _may_ have something to do with how we know as much as anyone else does: _Little to nothing_."

Marlene waved her off. "Where would Death Eaters keep a bunch of mostly-underaged-and-unarmed Muggleborns?"

The group was silent.

"Exactly," Emma murmured quietly. "There is nothing we can do but…," she trailed off.

"…But wait," James finished for her.

* * *

The next morning at breakfast, there were no fewer than four fights in the Great Hall. The Ravenclaw Quidditch team, stressed over the capture of their star player, were provoked by a group of Slytherin sixth years, and the resulting brawl led to the lot getting detention and a loss of so many points that James dreaded the paperwork he was going to have to fill out as Head Boy. The others were easier to break up, and Emma had to cast a sticking charm on Sirius to keep him in his seat when Regulus tried to get a rise out of him. James was worried that, like earlier in the year, Dorcas would take the bait, but the usually fiery brunette was like a snuffed out candle. No matter what Regulus said, and how hard Sirius struggled against Emma's charm, Dorcas just pushed eggs around her plate, her unseeing stare from the Headmaster's office back on her beautiful face.

James hated to see her like that. Dorcas was usually such a free spirit. It, honestly, surprised him when she and Marlene, who was both the perfect foil and complement to Dorcas, befriended the shy Emma and the firecracker that became his girlfriend.

He could not even think her name. When did that happen? He already felt like someone was performing a nonstop Stinging Jinx on his insides. When he closed his eyes, he saw the flaming color of her hair or the sparkling perfection of her emerald eyes. At night, he could hear her laughter in the dark. James pushed his plate away. His eggs and toast tasted like sawdust and cardboard, and he could not bring himself to eat another bite.

"You should try to eat," said Dorcas robotically from across the table.

James raised an eyebrow at the massacred, uneaten eggs on her own plate. "You're one to talk."

Dorcas shrugged, not looking up, and continued to push the eggs around.

The group ate in moderate silence, the only conversation between Remus and Emma concerning some dull lecture from History of Magic. As though they were machines, they finished and collected their things to go through the motions of class (they had Potions, but all the students except the Slytherins were too distracted to be functional). James felt like he was apparating everywhere. He was one place and then the next with no recollection of anything in between; so of course he went from the Great Hall instantly to the dungeon Potion classroom.

Once inside, James sat beside Sirius at their usual place near the back of the room. The atmosphere inside the N.E.W.T. level class was notably different without Slughorn's favorite student present, in addition to the absence of Sarah (who was also near the top of the class). James noticed that Emma, who was devoid of her usual partner, had paired herself with the remaining Hufflepuff, a boy named Aaron whose usual partner was Sarah. He felt his throat tighten with emotion at the sight of them wordlessly supporting each other in this situation, and he found a moment where he wondered if _he_ should have reached out to Aaron. Then again, it made more sense for Emma to reach out to him. But James had lost his girlfriend…he did not know Aaron very well since the other boy was neither a Quidditch player nor a prefect. Did Aaron lose Sarah in the same sense that James lost…his thoughts drifted into nothingness.

He was so wrapped up in his own world that he did not even notice Evan Rosier approach the table in front of him where Dorcas and Marlene were sitting. What brought him crashing back to reality was Marlene struggling to restrain Dorcas. It seemed that during the time that the dark-haired girl was silent, everything she was not letting out was just building up within her, and Rosier said or did something to set her off like a firework, and not one of those Filibuster no-heat varieties. Dorcas was all fire. She was shrieking and clawing at Rosier whenever she was able to wriggle out of Marlene's hold. James had known her for years, and he had never seen this side to his friend before.

Everything happened faster than he was able to comprehend, and Sirius beside him was also struck dumb by the scene unfolding before them. In a matter of seconds, Rosier drew back with him arm and let fly. Dorcas, who had just broken free from Marlene, recoiled as the sound of fist hitting flesh resonated throughout the room. The room went still for a moment, as though the students within were afraid to even breathe, when Dorcas turned to face Rosier, her hand on her cheek and her black eyes blazing. James noticed Marlene take a precautionary step backwards.

" _Fuck you_ , you bigoted son of a hippogriff!" growled Dorcas, then she leaped, knocking the larger Slytherin to the ground. She sat on his chest, her knees pushing his arms to the ground, and starting hitting every square inch she could reach. This woke James up, and he immediately got to his feet and set to work pulling Dorcas from Rosier. This proved a near impossible task. Dorcas was a Beater on the House team, and the usually strong girl was further fueled by unbridled rage.

At once, the classroom came alive. Some students cheered Dorcas on, others (namely the other Gryffindors, except for Sirius, who a part of the former group) tried in vain to talk her down. The Slytherins shouted at Dorcas's "unjust attack" on their housemate. Marlene was trying to help James, while both also tried to dodge roue limbs of the fighting pair. Simply put, it was pandemonium in the Potions classroom. After Dorcas was able to do enough damage to Rosier's face (James was no Healer, but he was nearly certain she broke his nose), Slughorn finally decided to grace them with his substantial presence.

"Merlin's beard! What is going on here!" he exclaimed over the din. In a trice, he drew his wand and separated the pair (James and Marlene still attached to Dorcas) to opposite sides of the room. "Someone, explain!"

Everyone started to speak at once. The Slytherins were trying to say that Rosier did nothing, and Dorcas just attacked out of nowhere, while the other three quarters of the class were claiming that she was provoked.

"Silence!" shouted Slughorn. He turned his wand towards Emma, who let out a squeak and took a cautious step forward, her eyes not leaving the thin piece of wood pointed at her. "Miss Vance, if you please."

"But, Professor!" whinged Mulciber from the Slytherin side of the room. "She is a Gryffindor, of course she is going to defend her friend."

"Mr. Mulciber, I trust Miss Vance to give an unbiased account of the events. She is not the sort to lie to her elders." He turned to Emma once more, prompting gently, "Miss Vance, my dear?"

Emma gulped. "Well, I-I was sitting in the table beside Marlene with Aaron, since our usual partners…err…," she cleared her throat, looking uncomfortably around the room, "that is, I was not sitting in my normal place, so I…ah…did not really hear everything well. Rosier whispered something to Dorcas, and she got upset. Marlene tried to hold her back, but Rosier hit Dorcas, and that is when she jumped on him."

Marlene lifted her chin proudly from her place beside Dorcas, tightening her arm around her friend's shoulders. "He said, 'Not so tough now that your Mudblood pet is dead,' Professor," she stammered, spitting out _Mudblood_ as though it tasted foul. Out of the corner of his eye, James saw Remus restrain Aaron as Emma whispered calming words. It took all of James's focus not to curse Rosier's ears off (The hand that Sirius had placed on his shoulder did not hurt, either). The missing students were just that: Missing. Not dead. They _couldn't_ be dead.

He refused to accept it.

* * *

By the fourth day after The Abduction, tensions at Hogwarts were at an all-time high, and the remaining student body seemed to be giving the Marauders and remaining Gryffindor girls a wide berth. It seemed as though the whole school heard about Dorcas's outburst in Potions before the class had ended, and even the professors were walking on eggshells around the group (James did not overlook how there seemed to be a few extra rubies in the Gryffindor hourglass. It seemed that, though the were treading lightly, the professors appreciated her spunk).

The only group that seem unaffected by the rising strain was Slytherin House. Despite the scratch marks, split lip, and bruised, swollen nose that still marred Evan's smarmy face (much to the amusement of the seventh years who did not wear green on their robes), they still took no provocation to send a jab in the general direction of students affected most by The Abduction. Usually, it was in the form of a little tasteless gift so that it could not be traced to any specific student. Somehow, they were managing to get the gifts delivered into the dormitories. Sirius speculated that they were threatening the House Elves with clothes. There was really no other way for them to get into the other Common Rooms without the passwords, and only the Head Students had access to all of them, and those were locked in a magic box in James's trunk while there was no much unrest at the school.

That morning, James arrived with Sirius to their usual place at the Gryffindor Table for breakfast. Remus and Peter were already there with Emma, Dorcas, and Marlene. With a frustrated grunt, James tossed that morning's "gift" onto the table (a white flower tied in a red and black ribbon) before dropping himself gracelessly into a seat and grabbing a triangle of toast and the carafe of coffee. He shot Emma a Look when she dropped a link of sausage and some scrambled eggs onto his plate. She raised an eyebrow in return, and James took that to mean, "Lily will never forgive me if I let you starve yourself while she was gone," and dutifully took a bite of the breakfast that tasted more like sawdust than anything else.

Peter stared at the flower that sat on the wooden table where they all could see it. "I don't get it," he said bluntly. "What's with the flower?"

Sirius answered, sparing James. He was just not in a conversational mood lately, and the others all understood. From the girls, all conversation was growing forced. "That was the most recent of the Snake Gifts to our resident Head Boy, here."

While to anyone, SIrius sounded casual, almost normal, but to those who knew him, they would have heard the hints of melancholy and fear in his quips.

Emma reached out and picked up the flower. "It's a calla lily."

Dorcas turned to face the other brunette, her black eye from Rosier a striking purple against her olive complexion. "Why are you always able to identify flowers?"

James remembered the hyacinth that he had sent Lily earlier in the school year to apologize for being a berk to her after the Opening Feast. Lily had charmed it, so it still hung fresh and fragrant by her bed. He had tied it with a green ribbon to match her eyes, and the thought reminded him of her eyes, and a stab of pain shot through him. James gulped down some hot coffee to numb it.

Sirius spoke again, "So, they sent him a lily. How original."

"There has to be a point to it. It's too obvious to just be a play on her name," added Marlene.

Remus had a look on his face that set James's teeth on edge. It was the same look he had when he nearly killed Snape as a werewolf one night after a poorly thought-out prank by Sirius (it nearly destroyed their friendship). It was an odd mix of animalistic fury and that look someone gets in the seconds before they vomit.

"What do you reckon, Moony?" he asked warily.

When he replied, his voice was more like a growl, and Remus looked more like a werewolf at that moment than he did before he transformed. "Calla lilies represent death. They are saying they are all dead."

James had had enough. Remus's words worked like ipecac, and he needed to get out of the hall, fast. He was not going to give the Slytherins the satisfaction. Saying nothing, he stood and walked out of the hall with as much composure as he could muster. He knew that he walked a bit faster than normal, but he hoped it looked more like he had remembered that he left a textbook in the Tower than the rising bile in his throat.

The closest loo was too far, so James went straight outside, leaning over a bush just outside the Entrance Hall before emptying the contents of his stomach. As soon as he thought he was finished, he retched again. He continued until his whole body ached and his throat burned. Bracing one hand on the stone exterior of the castle, he focused on breathing. In, out. In, out.

He felt a gentle hand on his back, and a glass was pushed into his hand. Prying one eye open, he noted it was a glass of water, so he rinsed his mouth twice and poured the rest in his hand to wipe over his face. Moving slowly to not risk his stomach, he turned to face his companion and he was not surprised to see Emma standing behind him. He managed a weak smile. "Thanks," he said, indicating the glass.

"You are not the first. I have some antiemetic potions brewed, as well as calming draughts in my trunk if you need it. Professor Slughorn allowed me to brew some the other day. Dorcas and Alice also can't seem to keep more than toast and soup down of late."

"Thank, Em."

She took the glass from him and refiled it with her wand. Passing it back to James, she said, "Professor McGonagall canceled Transfiguration this morning. She wants us to rest. The Hospital Wing is full nearly to bursting with students literally sick with worry."

"This is really embarrassing."

"Like I said, James, you are not the first."

"But I am Head Boy. I am supposed to be strong for the younger ones."

"You are also in a rather public relationship with one of the captured. No one expects you to be perfectly composed throughout this."

"You seem to be keeping things together well, Em," he replied wryly, one corner of his mouth quirking up.

Emma laughed humorlessly as she led him back into the castle. "Me? Who do you think I needed to get a calming draught for in the first place?"

"I am surprised they had any left. I thought it took a while to brew."

A new voice joined their conversation after they passed the doors to the Great Hall, and it was the last voice James was interested in hearing. "They do, but someone happened to have some ready."

Noting Emma's telling blush, James turned to the one leaning casually against the wall by the staircase they were ascending. Snape's usual sneer was present, and his greasy hair partially covered his one of his black eyes. "Can I help you, Snivellus?"

James knew that resorting to the old nickname was childish, and Lily would not have approved. However, as some were so persistent in reminding them, Lily was not there. James took a slow breath to calm his churning stomach.

Snape spread his palms, showing that he was unarmed. "I was obliged to provide the draught she needed to focus on brewing her own potions."

James looked at Emma in disbelief before turning his gaze to Snape again. "Why help a Gryffindor? Emma's family is known to be outspoken against Voldemort."

Snape's eyes flashed at the mention of the villain, but it was so fast that James thought he imagined it. "She asked for it," he said simply with a one-shouldered shrug.

"You could have poisoned her."

Snape straightened his posture and took a step toward the staircase. He did not ascend, which confused James. Snape normally would not like to be standing below him in any situation. "I could have," he said in his matter-of-fact way.

"But you didn't."

Snape rolled his eyes. "Obviously. Potter, you are supposed to be smarter than that."

While James bristled at the comment, he did not have the energy to retaliate. He just crossed his arms are stared at the student many called his arch nemesis. Hogwarts students had a flair for drama.

Emma stepped forward and put her hand on James's arm in a way that was so much like Lily that it made his heart ache. "Remember James, we aren't the only ones missing Lily right now."

James's eyes flew to Emma and back to Snape so fast that it almost threw him off balance. Snape just shot the pair a black glare, turned on his heel, and left in the direction of the Slytherin Common Room.

James looked at Emma, whose eyes were distantly aimed in the direction Snape left. After a beat, the chocolatey depths came to focus and she looked at him. The questions in his mind must have been written all over his face because she sighed.

"They don't speak anymore. Not since…well, not since _that day_." James did not have to ask her to know that she was referring to that day by the Black Lake when Sirius and he tormented Snape after the Defense O.W.L., leading to the falling out of the two most unlikely best friends in the history of Hogwarts. Before James could even consider interrupting, she continued, "However, they still care. They were friends since they were _nine_ , James. You can't expect that to just evaporate after seven years. Cutting Snape out of her life was one of the hardest things Lily had ever done, and I would bet my cat that it was for him, too. He cannot say anything against what was done to the Muggleborns, so he gave me a calming draught instead."

With that, she led the way to Gryffindor Tower, and James let what she said roll over in his mind. His opinion of the slimy git really did not change (for Severus Snape will _always_ be a slimy git), it certainly gave him something to think about. He knew that the world was not black and white, that there were shade of gray in there, but maybe there were more shades than he gave credit? Maybe Snape, while still a slimy git, was not as far gone as he thought?

* * *

"Prongs," a voice whispered while roughly shaking his shoulder. James swatted the pest away and rolled to his other side.

" _Psssst!_ Prongs!" the voice whispered again. This time, the fog in his mind had cleared some, and James recognized the pest as Peter. With a groan, he reached out to grab his glasses from the bedside table. Once he could see, he could make out that it was 3 in the morning according to the clock on his nightstand.

James tore off his glasses and buried his face into his pillow to muffle a string of curses. "Wormtail, for Merlin's sake, what the bloody hell are you doing shaking me awake at three in the _bloody_ morning on a _Friday_? They did not cancel _all_ of our classes, you know."

"I know, I know. Padfoot told me to wake you while he got Moo-" He was cut off by a loud, growl-like groan from Remus's bed, followed by a collection of muffled sounds that could be nothing else but Sirius getting pummeled by a pillow (and Remus's fists). From the other side of the room, Frank snored through it all. It was a blessing that Frank could sleep through a stampede of dragons, hippogriffs, and centaurs…all at once. They would never had been able to pull off as many pranks as they did, otherwise. Frank was a good guy, but a bit of a do-gooder (which was partly why everyone was so surprised to see Remus get the prefect badge their fifth year).

A louder thunk was probably Remus being bodily pulled from his bed, then Sirius literally pounced on James's bed.

And on James.

" _Padfoot_ , what the bloody actual fuck?! Gerroff!" James pushed at his best mate to no avail. He was even surprised Sirius had not shifted into a dog. "Okay, fine. What do you want?"

The smile was apparent in his voice. "I have a plan to get Lily and the others. We just need the girls."

That woke James up. "What about Frank?"

"What about him?"

"Really, Sirius?" he responded dryly.

Even though it was still pitch dark, James knew that Sirius waved him off. "He needs to stay with Alice. Imagine if Frank left her behind? And we are _not_ taking a sixth year on a rescue mission."

"Fair point."

Fumbling in the dark, they changed, grabbed the map, and sent Peter to retrieve the girls, as he could make it to the top of the stairs as Wormtail. Once assembled, they all left for the statue of the one-eyed witch.

Sirius handed the map to a dumbstruck Marlene ("Is this thing doing what I _think_ it is doing?") and walked up to the statue.

"What are we doing back here, anyway?" asked Dorcas, who was shifting her focus from the statue to Marlene, who was pacing and watching her little labeled dot pace, and back again.

Sirius gave her a Look from over his shoulder. "Going to Hogsmeade." James rolled his eyes. Sirius may as well had said the sky was blue, as casual as he was.

"How?" asked Marlene. Emma carefully took the map from her hand and began to study it under the light of her wand, taking in every detail with wide-eyed curiosity.

"This is brilliant magic…"

Sirius lowered his wand again with a light, impatient huff. "There is a passage here that leads to Honeydukes."

Something occurred to James at that moment. "Uh, Sirius…what do we do after we get to Hogsmeade?"

Sirius must have paused too long, because Marlene and Dorcas both began to shout at him about dragging them out of bed well before sunrise on a Friday with no real plan.

"Umm…guys?" whimpered Emma. If anyone heard her, they paid her no notice.

Remus joined the front against Sirius. "What were we going to do after we got there? Split off and apparate to different suspected Death Eater safe houses?"

"Sirius? Marlene?" Emma spoke louder this time, although she remained ignored. "Remus?"

The thought of raiding possible Death Eater haunts scared Peter, who squeaked and also started on Sirius. James was sure the smallest Marauder was about to wet himself.

"Ah…guys, you _really_ need to see this!" James turned to look at Emma, who was still anxiously trying to get everyone's attention. Realizing that she at least achieved James's notice, she pointed at the map with an unsteady wand. When James followed her point, he saw one thing that was definitely not a part of Sirius's "Grand Plan:"

A little dot labeled _Minerva McGonagall_ heading straight for them.

With a curse, James snatched the map from Emma with a rushed apology, vanished it, folded it back up, gave Sirius a firm whack over the head with it (causing him to curse loudly and creatively at James), and shoved it in his pocket. A half second later, the professor turned the corner, looking as though she was about to breathe fire.

"What is going on here? I went to retrieve you from your dormitories, and imagine my surprise to find you all were missing! Many of the staff are searching for you, and watch your language, Mr. Black!"

The group was either silent or making nonsensical sounds. James was struggling to think of a valid excuse as to why they would all be out of bed after curfew at the same time. Anything but the truth would do. _"Oh, hello, Professor! We were just going to use this secret passage we discovered a few years ago that no one seems to know about to sneak into Honeydukes so we can somehow track down and rescue the missing Muggleborns from Merlin knows how many Death Eaters. Care to join?"_ just did not seem as though it would go over well on their formidable Head of House. If it was just himself and Remus, he could pass it off as emergency extra rounds to keep the tasteless pranks at bay, but there was seven of them loitering around the ugliest statue in the castle.

Judging by the look that Remus shared with him, his friend was having a similar thought process.

Taking a deep breath, James stepped forward and decided to just skip the excuses and address something McGonagall said. "Why were you coming to get us, Professor?"

The arch of Professor McGonagall's eyebrow said that the subject of them being out of bed was not dropped, and James knew that it meant they were in for it later. "Well, seeing as you are all together and I have already informed Alice Perks and Frank Longbottom of the development."

"Development?" interjected Sirius.

The professor ignored him. "We have received an owl from Caradoc Dearborn. The Aurors have located the missing students and they are currently being transported here. Come with me. I will escort you to the Hospital Wing."

They followed her in a stunned silence as the sun was starting to peek out from the horizon. Emma spoke first when they were climbing the staircase that led to the entrance of the Hospital Wing. "Professor, why aren't they being taken to St. Mungo's?"

McGonagall stopped and leveled Emma with a look that was more maternal than scolding, "Since you are all seventeen and going to be entering the world soon, I will be candid. The Aurors feel that, in the current social climate, these students will be safer here than in St. Mungo's. Some Healers have been summoned to assist Madam Pomfrey, but they all had to be approved by Professor Dumbledore first."

Emma nodded, and the air around them seemed to crackle. It was as though their safe haven of Hogwarts was crumbling from around them stone by stone. As they got closer to the doors, the world began to grow silent. To James, it seemed like he was walking though water. With every step he took, the door felt three more steps farther away. After an eternity which was probably only seconds, he finally made it and pulled the heavy door open. Then, time caught up with him, as well as sound. It was chaos in the infirmary. There was a student on every bed, each one asleep or unconscious (he could not tell which), and he frantically searched the room for the familiar head of red hair.

He passed Frank, who had an armful of bandages (Emma stopped to assist him while the others split up to help where they could), and he saw Alice sitting on a bed and holding the hand of a sleeping Mary. He was almost at the far side of the room with panic rising in his throat like bile before a curtain was pulled aside and he saw her.

He must have ran to her side because at one moment he could just make her out, and the next he was at her side, ignoring the harried Healer and grabbing one of her hands in both of his. Beneath his fingers, her pulse beat string and steadily. Tears poured hot and free from his eyes, and he did not care who saw. His Lily was back and alive. Sure, she was dirty, covered in bruises, and dried blood matted in her hair, but she was there. Really and truly there. His relief was so strong, he almost felt faint.

He never left her side while the Healers examined her. They explained to him that they were all given a strong combination of Dreamless Sleep and Calming Draughts to allow them to heal in both mind and body. At some point, Emma came by with a basin of water, a cloth, and some of Lily's pajamas, and he helped her get Lily cleaned up and changed (although Emma insisted that he step out of the curtained area for the changing, despite his protests. He tried to explain that it was nothing he hadn't seen, but Emma just blushed at the implication and physically pushed him out "for the sake of propriety!").

A few hours later, Professor McGonagall came in with rolls of parchment, bottles of ink, and quills. Apparently, since they were all being so active in helping around the Hospital Wing, the professors decided that their punishment for being out of bed after curfew was to write lines. " _I will not be out of bed after curfew while there is a war on,"_ over and over. Granted, this on top of their volunteered duties in the Wing meant that none of them were going to be getting much sleep, but they were okay with some dark circles if that meant they were getting out of proper detention to be with their friends.

By the time they finished, many of the students were starting to wake up, and the ones that felt strong enough were interviewed by the Aurors. It was just before sunrise on Saturday when things began to intensify. A third year had woken up and immediately started screaming when a Healer and Auror approached her bedside. Afraid that she was going to wake Lily and the others before they were ready, Remus and James cast some silencing charms to block the sound. James stood outside the semicircle of Healers and Aurors to see if there was anything he could do as a familiar face. Perhaps the girl was just scared of the strangers?

The screaming continued for several minutes without pause. James was ready to shoot the girl with a silencing charm when Alice came running out from where Mary's bed was curtained off with her hands over her ears. Cautiously, she approached the girl like one would approach a baby unicorn. James saw her say something (he couldn't hear her, but he thought he saw her say, "Lara," and recollection clicked in James's mind), then the girl switched from screaming to crying hysterically in an instant and clung to Alice's petite form.

Alice looked up at the gentlemen surrounding them. "You all need to go. She needs Professor McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey. She will only scream if any of you come near." She shifted so she could see James and the others behind the gentlemen. "That included you guys. The girls are okay, but we can't risk her screaming again."

Dread settled in the pit of James's stomach. If this girl, thirteen years old, would not allow men to come near her, she must have suffered far more than any of the others combined.

"I think I may be sick," murmured Sirius from behind him. Remus nodded, his cheeks a distinct shade of green.

James said nothing as he led his friends away from the crowd around the crying girl.

* * *

By lunchtime on Saturday, the only students who had not woken up were the two Ravenclaws with the worst injuries of the lot and Lily. James and Dorcas pestered poor Madam Pomfrey for some sort of news until she threatened to throw the lot of them out and ban them from the premises until the others were released. Dorcas somehow managed to weasel out some information from one of the St. Mungo's Healers, and they combined this with what Mary had mentioned to come to some sort of conclusion. Lily had a minor concussion, evidenced by a goose egg on the side of her head, and she had stepped up with Sarah as the only seventh years to take shifts watching over the rest and caring for the two most severely injured Ravenclaws. The stress of it all, combined with the head injury, probably led Lily to shut down to recover.

A pair of House Elves were collecting their lunch plates when James heard the sweetest sound. He thought he had heard Lily stir before, but it was usually his imagination, so he dismissed it as hallucination.

When he heard Sirius's voice, he felt as though he could have flown around the Hospital Wing…without a broom.

"OI! SHE'S _UUUPPPPPPP_!"

* * *

 _Author's Note #2_ _: Sorry this took so long! Writer's block sucks major, and I rewrote most of this several times. I hope it is okay! Chapter 22 of MG is giving me trouble, but I am working on it! ~Nimue_


End file.
